So, I thought I was back. I made an effort, wrote down some words and felt good about getting back to blogging. And, well..that was now a month ago. Hmmmm... I need to try harder.
Today I have nothing deep or philosophical to offer but I do want to check in real quick. It is a lovely day in the great North. The birds are singing, the sun is shining and I am diggin' the time I am spending with my boys today. Mack and I just took a bike ride/walk, me doing the latter, and enjoyed some QT together. He told me he needed some "time away from Pierson" so I obliged. It was delightful having 25 minutes together completely uninterrupted by the musings of the little brother. We decided that we'll do this together every Sunday. I hope we really do.
A quick funny story to share. While on our little jaunt I asked Mack what I should pick up as a gift for one of his friends who will be having a birthday party next weekend. Mack told me that Damien really likes Army guys. I said "So, maybe some GI Joe guys? Does he like those?" Mack slowed down a bit and looked at me warily and said "Hmmm..I'm not sure if he knows about those, you know he just moved here from New York City and, well, he's new and everything and he may not know about GI Joes". I simply nodded and did my best to keep a straight face. It was so cute and truly brought me back to the realization that at almost 7 years old, my big boy is still my baby and still has that precious innocence that I know won't be around much longer.
Speaking of Damien and birthday parties...tis the season!! Mack has made some nice new friends at school this year and so I have been surprised that he hasn't had many birthday parties to go to. Well, apparently all of these friends are spring babies because, wow, the invitations are flooding in! He had 2 parties in April and now has Damien's (which by the way should be very cool; his mother rented out a movie theater for a showing of Night at the Museum) next Saturday before his own birthday party on June 6th. We are quite excited around here about the Ninja party that has been planned at the local Martial Arts school to celebrate Mack's 7th birthday. He and 7 of his classmates (and that pesky little brother of his) get to take a "Little Ninjas" class and then play some supervised, high energy ninja games all before Mack, being the birthday boy ninja, gets to break a board with his hand or foot in front of all of his friends. He is so excited! I am too because the whole party will be somewhere other than my house and will take, at most an hour and a half. And that includes pizza, cake and presents. Yeah!
I'm looking at the calendar today trying to figure out our summer schedule and as I notice that Memorial Day is already next weekend, I am so quickly reminded how fast it will all go. I'm going to try to take it easy, one day at a time, and enjoy every minute of it. I plan to "sit and sip" with my friends on my porch as much as possible. I plan to golf at least once per week either with my husband, my parents, friends or a golf league I have joined this year. I will wear sunscreen daily and try to preserve what's left of my "young" skin. I will do the loop at least once a day with my kids and anyone else who wants to join us. I will jump off the boat holding hands with my boys and I will go under. I will try to get to the Farmers Market at least once per week and I will prepare some fabulous meal with my findings. I will beat Peter at tennis this year, if it kills me. And, I think I may hire a cleaning person this summer, to help me make sure I in fact do all of those things I've mentioned above all while not living in filth. These are just some of my summer goals. The windows are open and I'm breathing in the chilly but fresh spring air. I am so ready. Bring it on.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
God, Grant me the..what?
Funny story, a few years ago I bought my sister this beautiful bracelet for Christmas. It had this verse on it that I had always been fond of. It had pretty beads with little charms throughout that read the Serenity Prayer. When I told my mom what I had bought for my sister, she asked me if I was trying to tell her something. I was so confused. That was the day that I learned that the Serenity Prayer was a prayer of sobriety used at Alcoholics Anonymous. I had no clue.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
The past few days have been difficult for me and this prayer has come to mind several times. I am home alone with the kids right now while Peter is in Virginia with his parents. My patience has been tested and I find myself stopping for deep breaths quite often. A little voice in my head then says "Please God, give me...", or "Please God, grant me...". The funny part is that I stop short of completing that sentence. Is it because I need so much help right now that one word or thought could not possibly be enough? Don't get me wrong, my problems are not huge..nothing earth shattering but enough to bring me to my knees in prayer so here goes:
God, grant me the patience to not yell or get mad when Pierson poops his pants. Help me help him instead of threatening him with some kind of punishment. Help me get over it and move on instead of feeling mad at him. Help me remember that he needs me to show him love and not disappointment.
God, grant me the calm to sit quietly while Peter tells me what is happening in Virginia. Allow me to sit and listen and not interrupt with the millions of questions running through my head. Help me not to get frustrated with his parents for not knowing to ask the right questions.
God, grant me the willpower to stop eating crap and start exercising again. Nuff said on that one.
God, give me the energy to keep up with my house. Right now it looks like it threw up on itself. Please give me the strength to go home today and find my closet behind the piles of clothes. Give me the wisdom to remember how to use a hanger. Help me teach my children that it's not normal to live like this and that we are better than this.
God, please help me use my time more wisely.
God, please grant me the courage to say NO when I am not comfortable doing something and have faith in myself to trust my instinct and not second guess my decisions.
God, please help me remember that these are the formative years in my children's lives and they will remember what I do, how I do it, what I say and how I say it. They are listening even when I don't think they are.
God, help me lose the guilt that I'm not a good enough mom. My kids think I am a good mom..I should listen to them more.
God, please help me lose the guilt that I am not a good enough friend, daughter and sister.
God, please remind me daily that I am only one person.
I am afraid that I could go on like this all day and while this was quite therapeutic, I think I will end there for now. I feel like I should mention that God must have bigger fish to fry today because while I typed this, I ate a handful of jelly beans, told a friend that I wasn't sure if I would be at exercise class tomorrow, wondered if Pierson pooped for the villagers today (you know.."It takes a village..." he's at daycare today) and checked Facebook two times (it would have been more but apparently the site is down)..Oh..and did I mention... I'm at work?
I think I have a lot to work on.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."
The past few days have been difficult for me and this prayer has come to mind several times. I am home alone with the kids right now while Peter is in Virginia with his parents. My patience has been tested and I find myself stopping for deep breaths quite often. A little voice in my head then says "Please God, give me...", or "Please God, grant me...". The funny part is that I stop short of completing that sentence. Is it because I need so much help right now that one word or thought could not possibly be enough? Don't get me wrong, my problems are not huge..nothing earth shattering but enough to bring me to my knees in prayer so here goes:
God, grant me the patience to not yell or get mad when Pierson poops his pants. Help me help him instead of threatening him with some kind of punishment. Help me get over it and move on instead of feeling mad at him. Help me remember that he needs me to show him love and not disappointment.
God, grant me the calm to sit quietly while Peter tells me what is happening in Virginia. Allow me to sit and listen and not interrupt with the millions of questions running through my head. Help me not to get frustrated with his parents for not knowing to ask the right questions.
God, grant me the willpower to stop eating crap and start exercising again. Nuff said on that one.
God, give me the energy to keep up with my house. Right now it looks like it threw up on itself. Please give me the strength to go home today and find my closet behind the piles of clothes. Give me the wisdom to remember how to use a hanger. Help me teach my children that it's not normal to live like this and that we are better than this.
God, please help me use my time more wisely.
God, please grant me the courage to say NO when I am not comfortable doing something and have faith in myself to trust my instinct and not second guess my decisions.
God, please help me remember that these are the formative years in my children's lives and they will remember what I do, how I do it, what I say and how I say it. They are listening even when I don't think they are.
God, help me lose the guilt that I'm not a good enough mom. My kids think I am a good mom..I should listen to them more.
God, please help me lose the guilt that I am not a good enough friend, daughter and sister.
God, please remind me daily that I am only one person.
I am afraid that I could go on like this all day and while this was quite therapeutic, I think I will end there for now. I feel like I should mention that God must have bigger fish to fry today because while I typed this, I ate a handful of jelly beans, told a friend that I wasn't sure if I would be at exercise class tomorrow, wondered if Pierson pooped for the villagers today (you know.."It takes a village..." he's at daycare today) and checked Facebook two times (it would have been more but apparently the site is down)..Oh..and did I mention... I'm at work?
I think I have a lot to work on.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
..Fast Forward 7 Months!
Holy Camole!! Where do I even begin? The last time I wrote was the week before school started. Here we are now, at the end of Spring Break. I think it might be time I get back at it! So much has happened during these 7 months that I truly don't know where to start!
Let's see, one year ago I wrote about getting out of town. I was about to leave for 10 days away from my family. I went to Rancho La Puerta with my mom and had the time of my life, exercising, eating well and simply relaxing. I sit at my kitchen counter typing away today, one year later, having just sent my husband off to Virginia to spend a few days with his parents. He was supposed to leave today on a golf trip with some buddies. He gets invited on this trip every year but never goes due to scheduling or financial issues. This was his year. Until his dad was diagnosed with cancer. A few phone calls later he rearranged his plans to be with his parents instead. The diagnosis has been pretty confusing and the course of treatment changes every day but Radiation treatments finally started yesterday and will continue for 4-6 weeks. We are hopeful that the prognosis is good.
I'm so proud of Peter for choosing to go home. His parents need him right now. To many people it's a no brainer that he made the decision that he did, to go home instead of on his golf trip. It doesn't mean that it was an easy decision. Peter knew immediately after hearing about his father that he would change his plans. But it's no surprise, being human and all, that he would also suffer a twinge of disappointment for having to cancel his trip. I feel bad for him. He works his tail off and rarely is rewarded with something fun, just for him. He is such a compassionate person who puts everyone else first that I have to wonder, at what point will he break? How much can one person take before it all catches up? He has a family whom he puts at the top of his priority list but also runs a Hospital and that kind of job can't be put on hold. It doesn't wait. Life doesn't wait. Add to that the concern for his father and I can only imagine how his brain, not to mention his heart, must be full of anxiety. Say a prayer for him, and his family if you think of it. They can use it!
In the mean time, something interesting happened to me at Meijer the other night. I was walking into the store around 7:00 pm, talking to my dad on my cell phone, when a man probably in his late 20's walked up to me and interrupted my phone conversation saying "Can I ask you a question? It will be quick!" So I asked my dad to hang on and gave this man my attention. "I am about $6 shy of being able to pay for my prescription, do you think you can help me out?" I will admit, I was surprised! This is not what I would expect to happen outside of Meijer in Traverse City. I was immediately uncomfortable. I did not lie to him. I explained that I had no cash and that I only had a debit card and I'm sorry, I cannot help you. He looked crestfallen, sort of like I was his last chance. I felt bad but I walked into the store and told my dad, sill hanging on the line what had just happened. His first reaction was "Yeah! Right!". I wasn't so sure that I didn't believe him but I was uncomfortable none the less. I tried to go about my business but this incident stuck with me. I had made it thru the produce section when I looked back toward the front door and saw this guy still out there, soliciting other people for "help". I decided it was inappropriate and I told an employee so that they could decide for themselves if this was against some "Meijer Law". He was gone the next time I looked. Either he found someone to give him money or Meijer asked him to leave.
I needed to put this out there and find out what you would have done had you been in my shoes. I was talking about this with some friends over dinner a couple of nights later. The other gentleman at the table brought politics into it and said "To show you how democratic I am..here is what I would have done! I would have walked him back to the pharmacy and if he truly had a prescription to be picked up, I would have paid for it. If he did not, I would have told him 'Shame on you.." He went on about how there are people out there who cannot pay for their prescriptions and truly do need the help. I understand that but as his counterpart pointed out, there are programs for that. I was left thinking about all the ways the situation could have been handled and did the way I handled it make me somehow less compassionate? The guy wanted $6. I was pretty sure he wasn't going to go buy drugs or alcohol with it. He did not appear to be homeless or like he was on some kind of bender. He clothes were clean, he was shaven and he didn't look all that different from some of my own friends. The bottom line for me, I was uncomfortable with the ease in which he was outside of a busy store asking me, a total stranger to pay for something for him. And I don't know that it was easy for him, I don't know anything about him or what prescription he needed, or if it was for him or for his wife or child or parent or what? The reason I don't know these things is because I don't know him. And since I don't know him, why would I make his problem, my problem? This is where I struggle. I hate how that sounds. I hate that it makes me sound mean, uncaring and unable to be bothered with this man and his troubles. I hate that I believe on one hand that, yes..one person can make a different and yes, one vote really does count, but then I turn around and believe that I am only one person, a person with her own issues and problems and I cannot solve the world's as well and I certainly can't give money to every person who asks for it. So where does that leave me? If my friend says so clearly that his solution to my Meijer problem shows just "how democratic he is", does that mean the decision I made shows just how one sided, or "Republican" I am? And how did this conversation become political anyway?
What would you have done? No judging..just tell me because I am so intrigued to hear the different ways that people would have handled this situation.
Til then,
K
Let's see, one year ago I wrote about getting out of town. I was about to leave for 10 days away from my family. I went to Rancho La Puerta with my mom and had the time of my life, exercising, eating well and simply relaxing. I sit at my kitchen counter typing away today, one year later, having just sent my husband off to Virginia to spend a few days with his parents. He was supposed to leave today on a golf trip with some buddies. He gets invited on this trip every year but never goes due to scheduling or financial issues. This was his year. Until his dad was diagnosed with cancer. A few phone calls later he rearranged his plans to be with his parents instead. The diagnosis has been pretty confusing and the course of treatment changes every day but Radiation treatments finally started yesterday and will continue for 4-6 weeks. We are hopeful that the prognosis is good.
I'm so proud of Peter for choosing to go home. His parents need him right now. To many people it's a no brainer that he made the decision that he did, to go home instead of on his golf trip. It doesn't mean that it was an easy decision. Peter knew immediately after hearing about his father that he would change his plans. But it's no surprise, being human and all, that he would also suffer a twinge of disappointment for having to cancel his trip. I feel bad for him. He works his tail off and rarely is rewarded with something fun, just for him. He is such a compassionate person who puts everyone else first that I have to wonder, at what point will he break? How much can one person take before it all catches up? He has a family whom he puts at the top of his priority list but also runs a Hospital and that kind of job can't be put on hold. It doesn't wait. Life doesn't wait. Add to that the concern for his father and I can only imagine how his brain, not to mention his heart, must be full of anxiety. Say a prayer for him, and his family if you think of it. They can use it!
In the mean time, something interesting happened to me at Meijer the other night. I was walking into the store around 7:00 pm, talking to my dad on my cell phone, when a man probably in his late 20's walked up to me and interrupted my phone conversation saying "Can I ask you a question? It will be quick!" So I asked my dad to hang on and gave this man my attention. "I am about $6 shy of being able to pay for my prescription, do you think you can help me out?" I will admit, I was surprised! This is not what I would expect to happen outside of Meijer in Traverse City. I was immediately uncomfortable. I did not lie to him. I explained that I had no cash and that I only had a debit card and I'm sorry, I cannot help you. He looked crestfallen, sort of like I was his last chance. I felt bad but I walked into the store and told my dad, sill hanging on the line what had just happened. His first reaction was "Yeah! Right!". I wasn't so sure that I didn't believe him but I was uncomfortable none the less. I tried to go about my business but this incident stuck with me. I had made it thru the produce section when I looked back toward the front door and saw this guy still out there, soliciting other people for "help". I decided it was inappropriate and I told an employee so that they could decide for themselves if this was against some "Meijer Law". He was gone the next time I looked. Either he found someone to give him money or Meijer asked him to leave.
I needed to put this out there and find out what you would have done had you been in my shoes. I was talking about this with some friends over dinner a couple of nights later. The other gentleman at the table brought politics into it and said "To show you how democratic I am..here is what I would have done! I would have walked him back to the pharmacy and if he truly had a prescription to be picked up, I would have paid for it. If he did not, I would have told him 'Shame on you.." He went on about how there are people out there who cannot pay for their prescriptions and truly do need the help. I understand that but as his counterpart pointed out, there are programs for that. I was left thinking about all the ways the situation could have been handled and did the way I handled it make me somehow less compassionate? The guy wanted $6. I was pretty sure he wasn't going to go buy drugs or alcohol with it. He did not appear to be homeless or like he was on some kind of bender. He clothes were clean, he was shaven and he didn't look all that different from some of my own friends. The bottom line for me, I was uncomfortable with the ease in which he was outside of a busy store asking me, a total stranger to pay for something for him. And I don't know that it was easy for him, I don't know anything about him or what prescription he needed, or if it was for him or for his wife or child or parent or what? The reason I don't know these things is because I don't know him. And since I don't know him, why would I make his problem, my problem? This is where I struggle. I hate how that sounds. I hate that it makes me sound mean, uncaring and unable to be bothered with this man and his troubles. I hate that I believe on one hand that, yes..one person can make a different and yes, one vote really does count, but then I turn around and believe that I am only one person, a person with her own issues and problems and I cannot solve the world's as well and I certainly can't give money to every person who asks for it. So where does that leave me? If my friend says so clearly that his solution to my Meijer problem shows just "how democratic he is", does that mean the decision I made shows just how one sided, or "Republican" I am? And how did this conversation become political anyway?
What would you have done? No judging..just tell me because I am so intrigued to hear the different ways that people would have handled this situation.
Til then,
K
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Up and At 'em and Summer to do's
It's 7:35 am and I am up. This is early for me these days. It has, after all, been summer break and for the first time in my post college life, that has meant a break for me as well. Working an even more revised schedule during the summer months, in combination with no early morning school preparations, has offered me a much appreciated opportunity to sleep in at least 3 days per week. Those of you with small children know that sleeping in means until 8:00 or 8:30 and on the very rare, cool and dark August morning, with the early chill of Fall in the air, maybe even 9:00! I know, Gasp!
This morning, all cuddled up under my covers, subconsciously knowing that this could be one of those 8:30 days, I slept fitfully and comfortably. Then, like someone opened a door in the middle of January and let all the cold air in, there it was. Right beside my head there was the morning breath of Mack saying "Mama, I peed in my bed!". I shot straight up knowing full well that when the brand new bunk beds were put together last weekend the waterproof mattress pad was not put back on the top bunk, aka, Mack's new favorite place to sleep. I just looked at him and said "You're kidding me!" and then realizing my tone was slightly sharper than I expected it to be, especially since those were the first words spoken for the day, I jumped up and gave him a hug and said "How bad?". His answer of "I didn't try!" was enough to tell me it was going to be bad. Not to mention the way his shoulders slumped as he said it was enough to break my heart. So, together, we trodded into his room and up the ladder to the top bunk I went. Hmm, that's funny, it's not wet at all! Since Mack doesn't actually sleep under the covers I had to do a swipe of the entire bed and sure enough, not wet, anywhere. I looked down at Mack from perch high atop the top bunk and said, "buddy, are you sure you peed in your bed?" to which he replied, kind of frantically, "yes, and I still have some more to give!". As he ran off to the bathroom I decided to feel up the top bunk one last time to make sure I wasn't missing anything but it was still dry and I was feeling much better. Mack came back and announced a little bit must have snuck out because only his underpants were wet. Phew! And then, in true Kristin form, once I realized the crisis was averted, and that he had been hugged and made to feel better, I started to realize what this all meant. It meant that I was now awake at 7:20, on one of those days I could have still been sleeping, and one of those days when I forgot to set the coffee pot the night before.
So, here I sit, back in my own warm bed typing away on the computer, listening to Mack repeatedly say "burrrrr" from the living room where the windows were left open last night, despite being buried under at least 2 blankets. He's watching Pokemon and I'm considering finishing up my summer read, "Pillars of the Earth" before Pierson wakes up. Great book, but enormous. So big that I dedicated my entire summer to it and now with Labor Day looming I feel a bit like I have a deadline to meet. And as I say that I realize that it's more than finishing the book that I feel pressured to do before Labor Day. We need to get to the beach again and maybe Crystal Mountain water park. We need to make s'mores at least one more time and I need to get to the Farmer's Market. And then I stop and realize that just because Labor Day is next week, and school starts up again, doesn't mean that summer is over and we can't do these things anymore. Living at the mercy of the school year calender for the first time (Kindergarten doesn't really count because he didn't go all day every day) is a trip and brings a finality to summer so much earlier than when we just look at a calendar and know that September is beautiful in Northern Michigan and we still have plenty of warm weather opportunities to enjoy all that is good about where we live.
Mack and I are dropping off Pierson at daycare for a couple of hours this morning and heading to Target to finish up some Back to School shopping. I think we will stop at Good Harbor and get a Latte for me and maybe a Warm Chocolate with lots of whipped cream and sprinkles for him. Maybe we'll even head down to the Wednesday Farmers Market downtown and check at least one thing off my "still to do this summer" list. I hope you all do something fun and memorable this weekend to mark the end of summer vacation but make some plans while you're at it to still enjoy summer fun right on through September and if we're lucky, maybe even a little bit of October too!
This morning, all cuddled up under my covers, subconsciously knowing that this could be one of those 8:30 days, I slept fitfully and comfortably. Then, like someone opened a door in the middle of January and let all the cold air in, there it was. Right beside my head there was the morning breath of Mack saying "Mama, I peed in my bed!". I shot straight up knowing full well that when the brand new bunk beds were put together last weekend the waterproof mattress pad was not put back on the top bunk, aka, Mack's new favorite place to sleep. I just looked at him and said "You're kidding me!" and then realizing my tone was slightly sharper than I expected it to be, especially since those were the first words spoken for the day, I jumped up and gave him a hug and said "How bad?". His answer of "I didn't try!" was enough to tell me it was going to be bad. Not to mention the way his shoulders slumped as he said it was enough to break my heart. So, together, we trodded into his room and up the ladder to the top bunk I went. Hmm, that's funny, it's not wet at all! Since Mack doesn't actually sleep under the covers I had to do a swipe of the entire bed and sure enough, not wet, anywhere. I looked down at Mack from perch high atop the top bunk and said, "buddy, are you sure you peed in your bed?" to which he replied, kind of frantically, "yes, and I still have some more to give!". As he ran off to the bathroom I decided to feel up the top bunk one last time to make sure I wasn't missing anything but it was still dry and I was feeling much better. Mack came back and announced a little bit must have snuck out because only his underpants were wet. Phew! And then, in true Kristin form, once I realized the crisis was averted, and that he had been hugged and made to feel better, I started to realize what this all meant. It meant that I was now awake at 7:20, on one of those days I could have still been sleeping, and one of those days when I forgot to set the coffee pot the night before.
So, here I sit, back in my own warm bed typing away on the computer, listening to Mack repeatedly say "burrrrr" from the living room where the windows were left open last night, despite being buried under at least 2 blankets. He's watching Pokemon and I'm considering finishing up my summer read, "Pillars of the Earth" before Pierson wakes up. Great book, but enormous. So big that I dedicated my entire summer to it and now with Labor Day looming I feel a bit like I have a deadline to meet. And as I say that I realize that it's more than finishing the book that I feel pressured to do before Labor Day. We need to get to the beach again and maybe Crystal Mountain water park. We need to make s'mores at least one more time and I need to get to the Farmer's Market. And then I stop and realize that just because Labor Day is next week, and school starts up again, doesn't mean that summer is over and we can't do these things anymore. Living at the mercy of the school year calender for the first time (Kindergarten doesn't really count because he didn't go all day every day) is a trip and brings a finality to summer so much earlier than when we just look at a calendar and know that September is beautiful in Northern Michigan and we still have plenty of warm weather opportunities to enjoy all that is good about where we live.
Mack and I are dropping off Pierson at daycare for a couple of hours this morning and heading to Target to finish up some Back to School shopping. I think we will stop at Good Harbor and get a Latte for me and maybe a Warm Chocolate with lots of whipped cream and sprinkles for him. Maybe we'll even head down to the Wednesday Farmers Market downtown and check at least one thing off my "still to do this summer" list. I hope you all do something fun and memorable this weekend to mark the end of summer vacation but make some plans while you're at it to still enjoy summer fun right on through September and if we're lucky, maybe even a little bit of October too!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Pier Pier
When Peter and I decided to name our second son Pierson we thought of all the ways one might shorten his name. Nowhere on our list of possibilities was Pier Pier, however, this is the name that has affectionately stuck. It's funny to me that my "all boy" wonder would have such a wussy nick name. This boy who recently said "Oh yeah, now that's what I'm talkin' about" as we passed a parking lot full of Four Wheelers in town. The same boy who can run like the wind, pumping his arms to go faster and faster, and who can name every construction truck out there easily responds to Pier Pier. I have visions of him running down a football field some day and all the cheerleaders shouting "Go Pier Pier" and I laugh at how ironic it all is. And then I laugh at the thought of one my children playing football because you know I'd never allow it..they could get hurt! :) Of course I am kidding, sort of.
So my little Pier Pier turns 3 today. Sometimes I have to remind myself that he is in fact just turning 3..and not 5. I have to remember that just because he can do so much and has such an extensive vocabulary doesn't mean I should expect so much out of him. He has moved on from being a baby but is still in that toddler purgatory of not quite being a "kid" yet. He absolutely refuses to sit on the potty and becomes so disgusted at the mere mention that I'm pretty sure I'll be inventing a size 7 diaper just so he can leave the house. There is no incentive big enough to get him to do it. I have promised him a pony and a trip to Disney but alas... Bottom line: This kid does things when he wants to and not at the suggestion of others. I know when he's ready he'll tell me and hopefully that will be that.
When Peter and I look at photos of Mack right before Pierson was born (Mack was 3 and a couple of months) we agree that Mack seemed so much bigger and older than Pierson does right now. I chalk it up to him being an only child up to that point and getting constant attention from everyone in his life. He was the only child and only grandchild (at least in Michigan) so he had uninterrupted conversations with the adults in his life and uninterrupted play time as well. Pierson has always had to vie for a spot in the lineup and believe me, he made his presence known from day one and has never had a hard time fitting in. It's just that he has had an older brother to contend with and has often been told, "hang on just a second buddy".
In a couple of weeks Mack will start first grade and will be in school all day every day and that will leave 2 1/2 days per week for just me and Pierson. I am really looking forward to this time with him. His first 3 years have absolutely flown by and I'm starting to realize that he'll be in school before I know it and I really want to cherish some alone time with him. He plays so differently than Mack did at this age. He entertains himself beautifully and keep himself busy for hours. He says some of the goofiest things and has the face expressions to match. He is so stinkin' cute and boy does he know it. He knows this about himself the same way I know that I need chocolate to get thru most days. A couple of weeks ago we were at the beach and a delightful little boy with Downs Syndrome (Will was his name) wondered over to where my boys were playing and started to dig with one of Pierson's shovels. The boys showed him all the goodies in their sand toy bag and before long they were playing together famously. I was talking to Will's mom and watching the interaction between the 3 boys as she told me that Will was very social and knew exactly what people were saying to him and what he was trying to say back but that sometimes his vocabulary couldn't keep up and therefore people had a difficult time understanding him. At that very moment Will said something to Pierson that none of us could understand but Pierson just looked at him and without flinching said "You are? Well I'm cute!".
And that pretty much sums it up. My boy with the wussy nick name who knows he's cute is 3 years old today and I love him 3 times more today than I did the day he was born and 3 times less than I will 3 years from now.
So my little Pier Pier turns 3 today. Sometimes I have to remind myself that he is in fact just turning 3..and not 5. I have to remember that just because he can do so much and has such an extensive vocabulary doesn't mean I should expect so much out of him. He has moved on from being a baby but is still in that toddler purgatory of not quite being a "kid" yet. He absolutely refuses to sit on the potty and becomes so disgusted at the mere mention that I'm pretty sure I'll be inventing a size 7 diaper just so he can leave the house. There is no incentive big enough to get him to do it. I have promised him a pony and a trip to Disney but alas... Bottom line: This kid does things when he wants to and not at the suggestion of others. I know when he's ready he'll tell me and hopefully that will be that.
When Peter and I look at photos of Mack right before Pierson was born (Mack was 3 and a couple of months) we agree that Mack seemed so much bigger and older than Pierson does right now. I chalk it up to him being an only child up to that point and getting constant attention from everyone in his life. He was the only child and only grandchild (at least in Michigan) so he had uninterrupted conversations with the adults in his life and uninterrupted play time as well. Pierson has always had to vie for a spot in the lineup and believe me, he made his presence known from day one and has never had a hard time fitting in. It's just that he has had an older brother to contend with and has often been told, "hang on just a second buddy".
In a couple of weeks Mack will start first grade and will be in school all day every day and that will leave 2 1/2 days per week for just me and Pierson. I am really looking forward to this time with him. His first 3 years have absolutely flown by and I'm starting to realize that he'll be in school before I know it and I really want to cherish some alone time with him. He plays so differently than Mack did at this age. He entertains himself beautifully and keep himself busy for hours. He says some of the goofiest things and has the face expressions to match. He is so stinkin' cute and boy does he know it. He knows this about himself the same way I know that I need chocolate to get thru most days. A couple of weeks ago we were at the beach and a delightful little boy with Downs Syndrome (Will was his name) wondered over to where my boys were playing and started to dig with one of Pierson's shovels. The boys showed him all the goodies in their sand toy bag and before long they were playing together famously. I was talking to Will's mom and watching the interaction between the 3 boys as she told me that Will was very social and knew exactly what people were saying to him and what he was trying to say back but that sometimes his vocabulary couldn't keep up and therefore people had a difficult time understanding him. At that very moment Will said something to Pierson that none of us could understand but Pierson just looked at him and without flinching said "You are? Well I'm cute!".
And that pretty much sums it up. My boy with the wussy nick name who knows he's cute is 3 years old today and I love him 3 times more today than I did the day he was born and 3 times less than I will 3 years from now.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Expect the Unexpected
My father has always told me that I am one of his most favorite human beings. He cites my consistency as one of my best attributes. I'm one of those "what you see is what you get" kind of gals. A good thing, yes...but perhaps a little boring. But even I have a bag of tricks and surprises that I sometimes pull from. A hanky up my sleeve of sorts that keeps people guessing. I recall one of the first times I tugged on that hanky and the reaction it got from people. I was 17 and it was the fall of my senior year of high school. I was playing Powder Puff football and I picked number 69 for my jersey. I had no idea what it meant at the time but I knew it was something scandalous. I walked in the homecoming parade alongside our float and then into the stands of our football "stadium" preparing to take the field for the big game. I remember the look on the face of one of my mom's friends when she saw my shirt and the way she lifted her eyebrows when asking my mom, "Number 69?". Again, I had no idea what it meant but I could see that it was getting a reaction. That must have been the beginning of my week of rebellion as a teen because it was about the same time that I took interest in a football player (incidentally our powder puff coach) who was a bit of a redneck and drove a red pick up truck. He asked me to go to a party after the game and I agreed. It was when I realized he expected me to sit right next to him in his pickup..you know..in the middle of the bench seat..that I drew the line and retreated to my prior life of goody goody preppy girl.
I think about this every once in a while when I feel the need to step out of my comfort zone as that good girl and do something just a little bit unexpected. And sometimes I find myself in the middle of a seemingly harmless and routine activity for myself that is attracting attention from someone else as unusual. For example, those of you who know and love me understand that I like wine. But sometimes I like to kick it up a notch and mix up a martini. The other night I was on the phone with my mother, making dinner for my family and a cocktail for myself. I asked her to hang on a second and proceeded to shake my martini until it was chilled and frothy and when I said, "Ok..go ahead" she wanted to know what the noise was. I nonchalantly mentioned that I was making a martini and had to shake it up real quick. There was a pause and then a little laugh and I heard her say to my dad "Your daughter is making herself a martini!". Now I must say that she was not saying it in an incredulous or judgemental way. She was, I think, pleasantly surprised to find that on a routine night, one where I was not entertaining anyone but myself, I was making myself a drink. I realized that to her it was quite unexpected and I felt that familiar thrill of taking someone by surprise.
Last night I went with my girlfriends to see Mamma Mia. I have loved this show and the music since I saw it with Peter in Toronto 4 years ago. I could not have been more thrilled then when I found out they were making it into a movie. Last night was the second time I have seen it in the theater and I wouldn't hesitate to pay $8.50 to see it again. There is a character in the cast named Tanya who is the close friend of Donna. She has been married 3 times, has had extensive plastic surgery and the young men (particularly one, named Pepper) think she's hot stuff. There is a scene in the show where she sings a song to Pepper called "Does your Mother know?" (Listen here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vi05Su7jX6k). I have told Peter, repeatedly, that if the Old Town Playhouse ever took a stab at Mamma Mia, I would totally take voice lessons and audition for the role of Tanya. I think this surprises him. It could not be more out of character for me. Me, the girl who didn't need the "which sex in the city character are you" quiz to tell me that I was totally Charlotte. One might think I would want the role of Sophie, the daughter in Mamma Mia given her girly, girl, bride to be character. But no, if given the chance I would pick Tanya because playing Tanya would be the unexpected thing to do and sometimes doing the unexpected is doing what's fun, and fulfilling expectations you have of yourself to step outside the box and live a little more freely than you may allow yourself to do on a daily basis.
I think about this every once in a while when I feel the need to step out of my comfort zone as that good girl and do something just a little bit unexpected. And sometimes I find myself in the middle of a seemingly harmless and routine activity for myself that is attracting attention from someone else as unusual. For example, those of you who know and love me understand that I like wine. But sometimes I like to kick it up a notch and mix up a martini. The other night I was on the phone with my mother, making dinner for my family and a cocktail for myself. I asked her to hang on a second and proceeded to shake my martini until it was chilled and frothy and when I said, "Ok..go ahead" she wanted to know what the noise was. I nonchalantly mentioned that I was making a martini and had to shake it up real quick. There was a pause and then a little laugh and I heard her say to my dad "Your daughter is making herself a martini!". Now I must say that she was not saying it in an incredulous or judgemental way. She was, I think, pleasantly surprised to find that on a routine night, one where I was not entertaining anyone but myself, I was making myself a drink. I realized that to her it was quite unexpected and I felt that familiar thrill of taking someone by surprise.
Last night I went with my girlfriends to see Mamma Mia. I have loved this show and the music since I saw it with Peter in Toronto 4 years ago. I could not have been more thrilled then when I found out they were making it into a movie. Last night was the second time I have seen it in the theater and I wouldn't hesitate to pay $8.50 to see it again. There is a character in the cast named Tanya who is the close friend of Donna. She has been married 3 times, has had extensive plastic surgery and the young men (particularly one, named Pepper) think she's hot stuff. There is a scene in the show where she sings a song to Pepper called "Does your Mother know?" (Listen here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vi05Su7jX6k). I have told Peter, repeatedly, that if the Old Town Playhouse ever took a stab at Mamma Mia, I would totally take voice lessons and audition for the role of Tanya. I think this surprises him. It could not be more out of character for me. Me, the girl who didn't need the "which sex in the city character are you" quiz to tell me that I was totally Charlotte. One might think I would want the role of Sophie, the daughter in Mamma Mia given her girly, girl, bride to be character. But no, if given the chance I would pick Tanya because playing Tanya would be the unexpected thing to do and sometimes doing the unexpected is doing what's fun, and fulfilling expectations you have of yourself to step outside the box and live a little more freely than you may allow yourself to do on a daily basis.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Say what you need to say...
I'm sitting here in sweat soaked clothes after returning from a lovely early morning run. I feel like I don't have much time for anything anymore, hence the reason for running early in the morning before Peter leaves for his day and the reason I sit here in sweaty clothes. I could go take a nice shower before the kids wake up and then sit curled up on the front porch with my morning java, listening to the sweet sounds of the birds chirping their morning hello (these birds replace the seriously annoying crows that wake me up every morning at 5:00 am). But instead I want to blog. It has been way too long and during my absence I have had so many inspirations to write; mainly my words of advice to the graduating (now graduated ) class of 2008.
Before I jump into my faux commencement address, let me tell you how weird it is for me to write "the class of 2008". I graduated with the class of 1993 which I'm pretty sure was just a couple of years ago. Upon further inspection (and addition) I realize that this spring marked 15 years that I have been out of high school. This is remarkable to me, in a punch in the gut sort of way. Not because I feel discontent with the way my life has gone in those 15 years but rather disbelief that it has gone so fast!
At the end of May I was listening to a local talk radio program that was taking calls from listeners who had advice for graduating seniors. I started to think 'what would I say if I were to give a commencement address?' This is something fun to think about because in reality, not many of us will ever get asked to deliver these parting words to the future of America. But I really thought about it and realized that I have legitimate advice to offer these fine folks and while my words may not necessarily land them some great job, they may at least lay a foundation on which to live their adult life.
1. Make good choices: If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. I know I have written about this before and how I tell my kids this every day, but come on, it's common sense. Make good choices. Think before you speak. Take pause before you act. It's something we all learn as children and if more of us practiced it, I can only imagine what kind of world we would live in.
2. Take risks but be accountable: I'm not saying go bungee jumping. I'm saying don't be afraid to take a chance. Don't always play it safe. Life is short and for some people, their best moves in life were made while taking a chance. But in the end, if that risk turns out to be a bad move, remember it was you who chose to do it. No one made you. Accountability is key. Be responsible for your own actions.
3. Be Truthful: To yourself and to others. Liars must live an exhausting life trying to remember who they have said what to. Keep your story straight. It should always stay the same, regardless of who you are telling it to. Tell the truth. If you don't, the only one you are really lying to is yourself.
4. Know who you are: Don't let others define you. Decide who you want to be and be that person. It's not brain surgery people. You should not have to change who you are depending on who you are spending time with. You should be the same person with your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. Be real, be you.
5. Make yourself proud: One of my personality flaws is worrying about disappointing others. Some people would not see that as a flaw but when the fear of letting others down interferes with doing what is right for you and yours, it becomes a flaw. I have worked on that thru the years and I'm getting better at saying no but it's not easy. I'm a pleaser and I want to make others happy because somehow in my crazy brain that equates to making them proud of me. But what I have learned is that it's far more important to make myself proud. I'm the one who needs to be happy with the decisions I am making and if someone else thinks those decisions are good too, well that's just the icing on the cake.
6. Don't settle: This is a tricky one because it's not clear cut. Everyone's idea of settling will be different. Don't settle for the wrong person to marry. Don't settle for the wrong job. Don't buy the first house you can afford. Don't run around with the wrong group of friends just because you've known them forever and it's comfortable. Don't settle. Let's go back to not settling for the wrong job. This doesn't mean sit around without a job just because you can't find the perfect one. This means it's ok to take a job that maybe you don't love but it's fine in the interim because it does pay the bills. Just don't settle into that job as though it's your lifelong career. Keep looking for that "perfect job" but be employed while you're doing it.
7. Trying to is lying to: This is one of my favorites and I just heard it within the last year. Again, maybe a little clear cut for some of you but the gist is this: Don't say you're "trying to". You either do or you don't. You're only lying to yourself if you continually say "I'm trying to". Make it happen.
8. Say what you need to say: In the words of my new friend John Mayer, "Say what you need to say". John and I are just recently becoming friends, he's a friend of a friend actually and said friend is probably grinning from ear to ear right now at the John reference. My favorite line in this song is:
Walkin' like a one man army
Fightin' with the shadows in your head
Livin' up the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead
if you could only...Say what you need to say
Sigh. So easily said. It makes perfect sense that it should be that easy but, wow, it's tough. It's hard for me to offer this advice because it's still something I am working on. It's a classic case of practice what you preach. There are some people in my life that I have no problem with saying what I need to say. But there are others that I just clam right up and cannot do it. Mostly because I know what the reaction will be and in the end nothing is accomplished and I'm just as frustrated as I was going into it. So, I guess rather than advice, this is a challenge for a new generation to learn to say what needs to be said. When you figure out the perfect equation to make it happen, let me know. I'm an old dog at this point and from what I'm told, even old dogs can learn new tricks.
Peace out!
Before I jump into my faux commencement address, let me tell you how weird it is for me to write "the class of 2008". I graduated with the class of 1993 which I'm pretty sure was just a couple of years ago. Upon further inspection (and addition) I realize that this spring marked 15 years that I have been out of high school. This is remarkable to me, in a punch in the gut sort of way. Not because I feel discontent with the way my life has gone in those 15 years but rather disbelief that it has gone so fast!
At the end of May I was listening to a local talk radio program that was taking calls from listeners who had advice for graduating seniors. I started to think 'what would I say if I were to give a commencement address?' This is something fun to think about because in reality, not many of us will ever get asked to deliver these parting words to the future of America. But I really thought about it and realized that I have legitimate advice to offer these fine folks and while my words may not necessarily land them some great job, they may at least lay a foundation on which to live their adult life.
1. Make good choices: If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. I know I have written about this before and how I tell my kids this every day, but come on, it's common sense. Make good choices. Think before you speak. Take pause before you act. It's something we all learn as children and if more of us practiced it, I can only imagine what kind of world we would live in.
2. Take risks but be accountable: I'm not saying go bungee jumping. I'm saying don't be afraid to take a chance. Don't always play it safe. Life is short and for some people, their best moves in life were made while taking a chance. But in the end, if that risk turns out to be a bad move, remember it was you who chose to do it. No one made you. Accountability is key. Be responsible for your own actions.
3. Be Truthful: To yourself and to others. Liars must live an exhausting life trying to remember who they have said what to. Keep your story straight. It should always stay the same, regardless of who you are telling it to. Tell the truth. If you don't, the only one you are really lying to is yourself.
4. Know who you are: Don't let others define you. Decide who you want to be and be that person. It's not brain surgery people. You should not have to change who you are depending on who you are spending time with. You should be the same person with your family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, etc. Be real, be you.
5. Make yourself proud: One of my personality flaws is worrying about disappointing others. Some people would not see that as a flaw but when the fear of letting others down interferes with doing what is right for you and yours, it becomes a flaw. I have worked on that thru the years and I'm getting better at saying no but it's not easy. I'm a pleaser and I want to make others happy because somehow in my crazy brain that equates to making them proud of me. But what I have learned is that it's far more important to make myself proud. I'm the one who needs to be happy with the decisions I am making and if someone else thinks those decisions are good too, well that's just the icing on the cake.
6. Don't settle: This is a tricky one because it's not clear cut. Everyone's idea of settling will be different. Don't settle for the wrong person to marry. Don't settle for the wrong job. Don't buy the first house you can afford. Don't run around with the wrong group of friends just because you've known them forever and it's comfortable. Don't settle. Let's go back to not settling for the wrong job. This doesn't mean sit around without a job just because you can't find the perfect one. This means it's ok to take a job that maybe you don't love but it's fine in the interim because it does pay the bills. Just don't settle into that job as though it's your lifelong career. Keep looking for that "perfect job" but be employed while you're doing it.
7. Trying to is lying to: This is one of my favorites and I just heard it within the last year. Again, maybe a little clear cut for some of you but the gist is this: Don't say you're "trying to". You either do or you don't. You're only lying to yourself if you continually say "I'm trying to". Make it happen.
8. Say what you need to say: In the words of my new friend John Mayer, "Say what you need to say". John and I are just recently becoming friends, he's a friend of a friend actually and said friend is probably grinning from ear to ear right now at the John reference. My favorite line in this song is:
Walkin' like a one man army
Fightin' with the shadows in your head
Livin' up the same old moment
Knowin' you'd be better off instead
if you could only...Say what you need to say
Sigh. So easily said. It makes perfect sense that it should be that easy but, wow, it's tough. It's hard for me to offer this advice because it's still something I am working on. It's a classic case of practice what you preach. There are some people in my life that I have no problem with saying what I need to say. But there are others that I just clam right up and cannot do it. Mostly because I know what the reaction will be and in the end nothing is accomplished and I'm just as frustrated as I was going into it. So, I guess rather than advice, this is a challenge for a new generation to learn to say what needs to be said. When you figure out the perfect equation to make it happen, let me know. I'm an old dog at this point and from what I'm told, even old dogs can learn new tricks.
Peace out!
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